First things first, parents – take a deep breath. Just because your child is suddenly picking and choosing what they want to eat doesn’t mean that it’s cause for concern.

“Picky eating – often called fussy eating – is a common and typically normal phase in early childhood development,” says Chantel Walker, from Imagine Dietitians. “It usually begins in toddlerhood, when children suddenly become selective about what they’ll eat, often rejecting even familiar foods.”

This phase is called a “neophobic” phase, explains Kath Megaw, dietician and co-author of the newly released Mindful Meals, and it’s typical between the ages of 18 months and six years. “Toddlers are naturally cautious, and that includes food. They’re also exploring autonomy; refusing food is one of the few things they can control.”

Beef sliders

Why is my child a picky eater?

Even though it’s common during childhood, Kath says there are certain factors that also influence your child’s eating habits. These include:

• Sensory sensitivity: Some kids are more sensitive to textures, smells and even the appearance of certain foods. Other children, Chantel adds, may crave variety and enjoy strong flavours and crunchy textures, or contrasting temperatures in food. So, it’s important to understand your child’s sensory approach.
• Medical history: Children with a history of reflux, allergies or feeding tubes might associate food with discomfort.
• Parental anxiety: Children are very attuned to our stress. If we’re worried or pushy around food, they may respond by digging in their heels.
• Lack of exposure: Children need to see, smell, touch and eventually taste a food multiple times before accepting it. If a food is never offered or is removed too quickly after a refusal, they lose that chance.

Some foods are more challenging for children, says Kath. These include bitter vegetables such as spinach and broccoli, dishes with mixed textures such as stews or casseroles, and slimy or squishy foods such as tomatoes or mushrooms.

Tomato-and-spinach spaghetti

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Red flags to look out for if your child is a picky eater

In most cases, fussy eating is a temporary behaviour and the best way to move past it is to continue offering a variety of foods and snacks without pressure. (Scroll down for more useful advice.) However, in other cases, it can be a sign of a bigger problem. Here’s what to look out for:

• Low energy levels, poor concentration and persistent fatigue
• Mood changes
• Signs of dehydration
• Slow or halted growth (falling off their growth curve)
• Emotional distress during meals
• Continued narrowing of food choices over time
• Constipation, dry skin or frequent infections
• Persistent physical reactions such as gagging, vomiting or choking
• Pale skin, dark circles under the eyes, or brittle hair and nails
• Avoidance of social activities that involve food, such as birthday parties or school outings

If your child displays any of these symptoms, parents should seek professional guidance. You can contact the team at Imagine Dietitians here and contact Kath Megaw here. These could be signs of a feeding or eating disorder called Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). ARFID is different to typical “fussiness”, says Kath. “ARFID isn’t about body image or weight concerns. It's about fear, texture sensitivity or trauma linked to eating.”

Chantel adds: “Food avoidance may stem from sensory sensitivities, past traumatic experiences around eating (such as choking), or co-occurring conditions such as autism or sensory processing disorder. ARFID often emerges in early childhood and is more frequently diagnosed in boys than girls.”

A multi-disciplinary team including a dietician and a feeding therapist and/or psychologist can make a big difference. A paediatric dietician can assess their growth and nutrient intake. If emotional or behavioural components are involved, a feeding therapist or psychologist can make all the difference, especially when it comes to the long-term health effects.

Sensory platter recipe

How to help your picky eater

If your child doesn’t display signs of ARFID and you know it’s just typical behaviour, there are things you can do at home to encourage a healthy relationship with food. Chantel and Kath recommend the following at-home interventions:

• Model healthy eating. Eat together as a family, offering the same meals to everyone, including your child.
• Use food play. Touching, smelling and playing with food (think broccoli trees) can break down fear and build familiarity.
• Continue to offer a variety of foods, including those your child has previously rejected, as it can take more than 15 exposures before a child is willing to try something new.
• Deconstruct meals. Serve ingredients separately. For example, instead of a chicken stir-fry, offer plain rice, grilled chicken strips and raw cucumber sticks.
• Keep mealtimes calm and pressure-free. Don’t force children to eat, taste or even touch certain foods, especially if sensory sensitivities are involved.
• Get them involved in buying food. Allow them to choose a new fruit or vegetable and let them touch, smell and talk about different foods in the aisle.
• Avoid using food as a reward or punishment. Don’t make a fuss when they try something new and don’t use desserts as bribes for eating vegetables.
• Allow them to help in the kitchen. Toddlers can stir, mash or use cookie cutters to shape food.
• Offer at least one “safe” food alongside new or challenging options. Consider placing a small bowl nearby where they can discard items they’re not ready to eat.
• Involve your child in meal planning, shopping and preparation to build a sense of autonomy and cultivate an interest in food.
• Use family-style serving, allowing everyone to build their own plates from shared dishes.
• Stick to a routine as children thrive on predictability.

Broccoli-and-cheese waffles recipe

A final bit of advice, according to the Division of Responsibility Model by feeding expert Ellyn Satter: remember that parents are responsible for what, when and where their child eat; children decide whether and how much they eat. Of course, if you suspect your child has a feeding or eating disorder, don’t hesitate to get professional help.

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